Saturday, 30 May 2015

Heartbreaking Goodbye

Last few days, I was sort of 'breaking up' with my best closed friend in my University life. We got to know each other since we're in foundation. We're not that closed at first until toward the end of the 1st semester in Foundation because I went to teach her almost all the subjects in that semester and the coming semester in our Foundation's life. So since that moment, our friendship is growing and is getting closer to each other. She told me about her life, her boyfriend who study in UK, her private stuff, ask my opinion on certain photos that she took etc whilst I will tell her mine. No doubt, she is the greatest affection in my University life I'll never thought that I will be meeting a friend like her with endless chatting. One year later, both of us had completed our foundation together and of course with other coursemates. After that, we all went into different courses in our degree like I'm into Accounting field whilst she is into Marketing Field. But our friendship never changed because we bonded since Foundation and to be honest, our friendship is stronger than others and we still continue to chit chat and hangout together quite often. In fact, we both influence each other in matter of thought, way of speaking etc. Why I said she is the greatest affection in my Unilife? Because even we are in difference courses, she will still introduce me to her friends and I really do appreciate that and I can mix with them like seriously. So I can know quite a number of people and this is because of her. She never introduce our other foundation mates to her friends except me. So, this is how close we are. But things change after she knew a guy when she actually car pooling with a guy to travel back to her hometown. They're getting closer and closer and like best friend in a short period of time which she told me about it too. Ever since she knew him, our chat become lesser and lesser and our hangout is decreasing too. and she will come to me when she got something special or something to complain to which I can be a pretty good listener. :) So, I'll listening to her complain or share with her happiness or giving advise to her. Anyway, sometime I do feel like I'm a backup to her. Why I said so? Maybe is because she will approach me when she don't know about the thing (normally study), something to complain to but no ones there or no one there for her to chat to. Sometime she asked me out or accompany her to anywhere the next day which I'm okay with it and ask me to tell me the time but whose know, I don't get a single message next day and I'm waiting like an idiot. But whatever. I don't bother all these or I didn't say a thing about it because I do care about the friendship that we have. Alright, ever since she knew the guy, the guy has a thing to her and start to get her attention but at that moment, she is having a boyfriend in UK which the guy know about it but he is just don't give a shit about it. As time pass, this guy take care of her when she is hungry or sick or even take her out to somewhere to enjoy or buy stuff because this guy owns a car. So she start falling into him. So here she came to ask my opinion about by making comparison and I ask her or majority of people ask her to get back with her boyfriend and be honest with him. And she did it actually by telling the truth. Her boyfriend is quite understanding and he doesn't mind about because he knew that whenever she needed him, he is not around her. But whose know, he broke up with her and even block her with every single social media or communicate that she owns. I guess he is heartbreaking too. So whatever and she once told me that what she really got to do now is focusing in study. I believe in her and give her my service like if you're sad or emotional, u can dial this number or whatsapp to this number which is my number actually that she owned it since we knew each other. What I do is to cheer her up. Since then, our chat also getting lesser and lesser and hangout too. Whenever I ask, she will have some excuses which I choose to trust her. Things got awkward whenever I meet her in the campus which I don't even know why. We even stop chatting for almost 20 days because after these 20 days, I have to ask her out for the celebration of her birthday, she said, we can just have a dinner while I say yes and tell her when you free and inform me so we can celebrate for her. At this time, I ask her out on the day of her birthday but she is going back to her hometown because of some emergencies. So I ask again, how about weekdays but she said weekend. Well, I'm okay with it. Weekend had came and I don't even get her response so I ask her again, she told me that she had informed my friend which I don't about it and waiting like an idiot again. So at the end, we didn't celebrate with her. Our conversation is stopped. I'm quite disappointed actually and frustrated at the same time. One day, I can't resist anymore on what's going on. So I text her again about that and what she told me is that, when it's time, I'll tell everything. Oh! What can I do but to reply her alright, take your time. My heart was like bleeding because of the disappointment. Whatever, then sometime she did chat with me or I did chat with her as well but the conversation is really awkward and again, she told me, I'll updated you after I finished with all my assignment. Well, I wait. The next time she said it to me again is waited until she finished with all her presentation and I wait as well. The last time she said it again is after final but this time, she had made a specific moment which is at night on the next day well I wait as well. But I got nothing from her. This is really piss me off and my disappointment toward her is no longer disappointment, it's more like I got no feeling toward this friendship. Anyway, before that, as I confront to her that is it because of the guy and she stopped talking to me and she is like having doubt on that and she said no. So I asked again, are you guys together? She said no as well but what I can tell is that it's pretty obvious okay because of the twitter she tweeted about and the instagram's photo. Anyway, I believe her again. One day, I noticed that she stopped following me on twitter and stop liking my post on facebook and I just got shock and surprise but I didn't say a word about it because I'm waiting for her explanation. This time after final, I can't wait anymore so I text her and tell her that I had been wondering for so long and I still waiting for detail on what's going on. But I guess it's not the time for me to wait anymore and glad to know u as my friend ciao. This time, she comes clear, She said it's really because of the guy who stop her from texting me or seeing me because the guy doesn't like me much as I'm too close to her. She stop following on twitter because the guy asked her to do so and she deny about the facebook post. We text alot about these quite long which I'm not gonna tell here. Until the end, She keep apologizing and she said I guess you don't wanna be my friend too already afterall. Actually, the 'too' word brings the meaning of she doesn't want to be my friend at all. So I'm heartbreaking and I said I will never thought you are my seasonal but now you're. Because I really don't want to end the friendship that's been so bonded before. But whatsoever, since we can't go back to the old time. I wish her be happy with him and she ended that weizong (me), I'm sorry
I do appreciate the friendship but seem like she didn't care at all, what for I still care so much. Time to move on Aiden. I know I can get over it! Fighting
End of Story: Heartbreaking Goodbye to an used to be closed friend